Sunday 21 September 2014

Apparently I Do It So Well

I had a few days away this week, across to Germany to see a lovely gentleman who means an awful lot more to me than a passing client.  He's a very kind and considerate man who only has my best interests at heart and I don't discuss him on my blog because the time I spend with him is very private and personal and not open to public discussion.  He makes regular recommendations to me about how I should move myself forward and how I should progress, should I wish to stay in this work for another 10 years.  Very few guys take a personal interest in me, in this way and so I do take notice of what he says to me because he only wants the very best for me.

Over dinner, in a very fine restaurant, he paid me a lovely compliment, he said that my role as a gay male escort for executive men is a role that I apparently do......so well.  I've never thought of it in those terms.  I am just me.  I am just a normal guy with no airs and graces but someone who likes nice clothes, fine wines, the arts and theatre and to travel.  When I first came into this work, many moons ago, I was just another name in the newspaper and then as the internet took off, I was just another name online.  He had read a study in the Economist about how sex work had moved from a locally advertised type of service into a hands on, readily accessible internet explosion and asked me if that had any bearing on how I matured as an escort.

This was something I have touched upon in this blog in the past, but it isn't until someone from the outside, looking in, questions it, that you start to question it yourself.  Apparently, I do it so well. So how did this normal, unassuming guy, from Newcastle upon Tyne, change from being a shy, intelligent office worker into a sought after gentleman companion for executives.

When I first started out as an escort, my work came from word of mouth.  The internet was about, but not at the scale we have it at today where it's now classed as an essential utility.  Back in the late 90's it was still in it's infancy with dial up, the only option available, on 0845 numbers.  No one had a hands on, permanent fibre optic connection or 4G phones in those days.  Having a mobile was novel in itself then, so as technology has exploded, so has sex.

When I first started, I was a gangly thing, tall and skinny with long facial features.  I was almost exclusively bottom and most, if not 90% of my appointments were half hours at my home, outcalls were a rarity.  As I got older, I got more confidence and before I knew it, I had moved house a few times, gone full time with escorting and I had matured into a mid 30's man.  I still have the mind and feelings of a 20 year old but those days are long gone and I have the intelligence and manners of more mature guy now and maybe that's what moved me along a little and molded me into the person I have become.

I had a very good upbringing.  My father had a very good job, I came from a reasonably good Irish family, moving here from East London.  I had a good education and continued my education until I was 25, hence why I am highly qualified in another field.  Because of my upbringing, high level of education and impeccable manners, I was able to adapt these skills into an ever changing world of escorting and sex work.  Many female escorts move into specialised sectors as they get older, like domination or, dare I say, as mistresses for men seeking adult baby type appointments.  I am not dominant and I am not keen on babies to begin with and that's not really the sort of sectors I would mature into easily and therefore I pooled all of my skills I had learned from my childhood, teenage years, work life and student days and became a gentleman escort for gentlemen themselves.

I have no idea when that journey began, I just seemed to progressively move into that sector as I got older.  I see a number of executive men from all sections of the community.  I travel an awful lot these days too, something unheard of 10 years or so ago.  This year alone, I have been abroad numerous times, I have been to London and the south of the country on a number of occasions, plus in the last two months alone I have been to a North Yorkshire country house hotel and a Leeds city hotel for lunch and afternoon fun, both of which were out of my normal catchment area and a train ride away.  These are all big big appointments where I take a day or two out of my schedule to attend.  These arn't your hour long, wham bam, thank you ma'am liaisons.

So.... what do I do so well ?

I can converse on anyone's level.  I know a lot about politics, the financial markets and world current events.  I can gossip about celebrities, recite funny incidents that happen to me in my day to day work and keep the conversation and fun going along nicely on a longer appointment.

I dress immaculately.  I buy new shirts, new jeans, new underwear and a new formal or semi-formal jacket for almost every executive appointment.  I have to look good and the investment in myself is always appreciated.  It's especially important to look and dress good, I like the gentlemen I see to appreciate that money they spend on me is invested in looking good for them.  When I visit a gentleman for an appointment, I will be wearing a crisp, freshly laundered, in season shirt, with quality designer jeans, expensive handmade shoes and designer underwear.  I will have another shirt for dinner, plus another to travel home with the following day, or more shirts and jeans if I am staying for a few days.  I don't just turn up in one shirt and wear that all bloody day.

I will take along a bag with everything, as requested.  Whether it be a selection of sex toys, some airport security approved playtime handcuffs or a special item they've bought for me on a trip away, that's exclusively for them.  It's always there and I never forget.

I conduct myself perfectly at all times.  I don't smoke or take drugs.  If I am flying to a gentleman or taking a train, I may have a glass of wine or gin and tonic on my journey down but I wouldn't turn up pissed.  Conduct isn't just about being well behaved, because in the bedroom I am certainly not well behaved, it's about timekeeping, making sure you plan ahead, arriving on time, being able to talk at the same level as the person you're sharing time with and knowing how to use a knife and fork properly.  Impeccable manners are as much about an executive appointment as anything else.

You have to be able to drive.  Yes, I often get the train and the odd plane but you have to be able to get yourself to local outcall appointments with ease.  Many outcalls are to country house hotels or golfing venues, most of which are 20 miles or so outside of the city.  I often get outcalls to strange towns, inaccessible by train, such as Dumfries, Scarborough or Harrogate, where a car is as essential as lube and condoms.

When one of my longer, executive gentlemen visit me on an incall, I always have chilled wine or a gin and tonic ready, something that's always appreciated.  I answer the door, looking fabulous.  I offer to collect them by car at the station or airport and always wear a formal jacket in the car.  My car is an executive vehicle and to new clients, it's the first thing they notice when I pick them up at their arrival location.  This stays with them throughout because, we all know, first impressions count.  These are things that other escorts don't seem to think about.

Apparently, I do it so well.  Well, what I do well is forethought and planning and I learn and understand the individual likes and needs of each and every gentleman I see and I ensure that each and every moment spent with me lives up to their tailor made expectations because my commitment, attention to detail and reliability can not be matched or surpassed.












Monday 1 September 2014

Male Sex Work and Society

I was kindly asked by Harrington Park Press, in New York, to review an academic publication that is being released this week (on Tuesday 2nd September 2014).  They sent me a copy of the book, pre-release, in late July and it's been my bedtime reading for a number of weeks.  I have written an honest and factual review which is independent and in no way influenced by the publisher or authors of the book.


Within research and the current debate about sex work , there exists a gap in our knowledge and understanding of the male sex worker as a distinct group. The feminist ideology that dominates so much of the sex work discourse in the west, chooses to present sex work as being only about women selling sex to men. If and when acknowledged, male and indeed trans sex workers, are recognised only within this politically motivated narrative of female submission to dominant male sexual desire. The complex and varied experiences within the male sex work narrative have too often been reduced to a caricature of a feminised boy, to assimilate easily within this politicised perspective of sex work. The arrival of “Male Sex Work And Society” therefore is a welcome addition to a growing academic and political awakening to the male sex worker as being a distinctive subject with a history and culture deserving of recognition.

The book is a collection of research by noted academics and specialists in sexual health and LGBT studies. Despite being a substantial book, it is easily accessible and each chapter carries its own section of references. The topics are wide ranging, from a history of male sex work, the influence of culture on how male sex work is engaged, perceived and legislated to how sex workers and clients interact. Continents and countries are dealt with individually, giving a perspective on male sex work in the United States, Africa, Russia, Western Europe, China and so forth. Stigma, political and religious prejudice and their consequences are discussed.

The problems faced by male sex workers especially in parts of Africa and Russia, where a growing intolerance and violence toward the LGBT community has created an especially hostile environment, is engaged at length, in the book. Interviews with sex workers and their clients are included too, which gives an authenticity to the research which very often is missing within academic works. How sex workers feel about themselves, how they understand and relate to their work, their aspirations and fears are discussed and referenced extensively. Clients are also interviewed and it is interesting to note the cultural differences, but also the similarities.

A chapter on male sex work and male sexual identity in Latin America was especially fascinating. Research done by Victor Munichello, Tinashe Dune, Carlos Disogra and Rodrigo Marino in chapter 15, “Male Sex Work From A Latin American Perspective” discusses the influence of Catholicism and the family, in defining male sexual identity and how male sex workers accommodate and work within those boundaries. Another chapter on “Male Sex Work In China” by Travis S K Kong, in his research into the “Money Boy,” again reflects the influence of culture and politics on how male sex workers identify and work.

I especially enjoyed the fact that research concentrated on sex work as a business with reference being made to a variety of marketing strategies used by male sex workers. Inevitably awareness and reality of class within societies was also reflected within the sex work dichotomy, emphasising the influence that education and social background has helped in optimising earning potential.

The male sex worker in literature and in cinema has its own chapter and within a western context, the development of the male sex worker is referenced and traced within a context of a growing acceptance of sexual diversity within greater society. Sexual health is naturally discussed extensively, referencing the negative affects of politics and culture, of criminalisation, on accessing health services and for health specialists to monitor sexual health among sex workers.

The importance of accessing and educating sex workers to help stop the spread of HIV is discussed. Criminalisation of sex workers especially affects the sexual health and awareness of those sex workers with social disadvantages, be that addiction or lack of education, or who are migrant and who may not speak the host countrys language and are quite often illegal. Those sex workers are the most at risk of infection.

I concur with the general consensus in the book that sexual health and social support for male sex workers in general is secondary to that on offer for female sex workers. This point in conclusion brings me to my only criticism. As a more mature sex worker I noted little reference to older male sex workers, to the wide age age range that exists within male sex work. The emphasis in the book concurred with the common perception that male sex work is predominately young boys and men. From my perspective, advertising extensively throughout the UK and beyond, this is not the case. I also would have liked to have seen more references to men selling sex to women. This is an area of sex work which is beginning to be recognised and researched. I have a feeling that society may be in for a quite a surprise at the findings.


The book is available for purchase at Amazon UK and is published by Harrington Park Press.  I would personally like to thank the publishers of the book for recognising my own blog and contribution to the sex industry and for asking me for my unbiased opinion on it's content.