Can You Actually Be Friends With Other Sex Workers

29th September 2011

I’ve skirted around this subject before but I am going to delve a little deeper into this question today. Can you actually be friends with other sex workers. I think you can be but you have to have your own personal boundaries set and you need to be discreet and private about your clients.

Sometimes I just can’t be arsed with other sex workers. I find most of them to be selfish individuals, they’ll gladly take numbers of dodgy clients from you, they’ll gladly take an appointment off your hands when you’re busy but often you get nothing in return. There’s been one or two sex workers I have become friendly with over the years. One guy, we will call Alan so I don’t identify him, he was a nice enough guy, I used to pass on the phone numbers of no shows and hoaxes but he never used to furnish me with such details. I’d catch up with him from time to time and he’d always tell me how busy he was and how wonderful and rich his clients were. I used to wonder where all these clients came from because I advertised in the same places as him, yeah he was 10 years younger but not everyone wants the skinny blonde bottom type, then one day I seen a regular of mine, he’d emailed me a few months earlier when I was in Spain, he was here for one night on business and so I gave him Alan’s number, Alan seen him and all was fine. I got an email from the client a few days later saying thanks and that he’d see me next time he was in Newcastle.

I never thought any more about the recommendation until Paul (the client) contacted me again. He made an appointment for the following evening and I arrived on time as requested. I asked him how it went with Alan and he said “Great but you need to be careful”, his reply astonished me and then he went on to add, “Alan told me he’d undercut you if I booked him in future and offered to see me for 2 hours for 100 quid. Now isn’t that downright nasty. This was a client I seen every few months, I helped him out when I was in Majorca, gave a fellow escort some work and that’s how I got repaid. Then came the best of it “Alan was glad of the appointment which is why I think he wanted to keep me as a client, the timewasters he seems to get, I’d give up if I got that many guys pissing me about”. The timewasters, the bloody timewasters, what bloody timewasters. I realised this was a one way street and that was the last ever recommendation I sent to Alan. I don’t think my client has booked him again because I’ve seen him a couple of times since and even he was appalled at the attitude of Alan.

I am also a member of an online gay sex workers forum, which I mentioned a few days ago, one escort on there obviously hates my guts. I tend to talk in plain simple english, I don’t use big words in my sentences because I like the lay person in the street to be able to understand what I am talking about, using complex words to describe feelings and counter argue is not my style but it’s his. For someone 15 years my junior he’s very good at telling me what I do wrong when I have a winge on the forum but if I reply to his complaints he gets all uppety on me and uses big words to try and confuse me. He doesn’t confuse me at all, I am university graduate with professional qualifications not some low life piece of Geordie shit that he tries to make me feel like (whether or not he’s doing that is a matter for discussion but it’s how I feel sometimes). He thinks we’re all a bit tight here in Geordieland and they’re a bit more cosmopolitan over in Granadaland. Gay/Open Minded/Bisexual/Transgender people are no more prevalent in Cheshire than in Consett, but he’s young and so seems to know a thing or two. He describes the North East as rural, rural my arse, yes there are nice rural area’s but it’s the 6th biggest metropolitan area in the UK. Go 10 miles out of Manchester and you’re rural too but you see, that’s more rural with a bit more pink in it. With 10 years experience in the sex industry, I obviously know nowt so in future I will just shut up when he’s got problems. I have to bite my tongue with him at times as it is and he never accepts any responsibility for his own actions, whereas I do. It always seems to be someone else’s fault. Never mind, when he gets to 37 he might have a different outlook on life. I don’t think we’re ever going to be friends but I am not really bothered about that.

I get contacted all the time from guys wanting to get into the work, “Can we meet for a pint and chat about it”. Hmmm nope, I don’t do meets in bars with strangers interested in escort work, emailing me from a hotmail account. If you ran XYZ Bakers in Darlington and ABC Bakers wanted to set up next door they’re hardly going to ask XYZ to meet them for a beer to take business away from them. I’ve met a couple of blokes over the years for a pint and a chat about the work and they’ve all wanted a shag. Just because I am sex worker it doesn’t mean I sleep with anyone who buys me a drink you know LOLOLOLOL

I do have one or two friends who are sex workers. One guy who I offer the odd duo with and another who I pass on dodgy numbers and no shows to. I think it is possible to be friends with other sex workers as long as you don’t tell them everything about yourself and keep it sensible. If you’re going to recommend clients to another escort when you’re away on holiday then I try to ensure it’s someone who appreciates the recommendation and reciprocates in the future.

I’ve dipped in and out of the work over the years, this is currently one of the longest stints I have had in the work and it’s mainly because I am working part time at the moment and this fits in nicely. If I take on a full time job in the future I will probably only see regulars and stop advertising as much. If that happens I hope there’s an escort out there that would appreciate a few more clients their way but who wouldn’t be dis-respectful and try to undercut me to keep the client for themselves. I don’t like dirty tricks