Glass of Champers

18th August 2011


Champers alright for you Pats, as Edina Monsoon would say to Patsy Stone

Patsy Stone, 39, International Model and Style Guru. Hmmm I’m more Steve, 37, International Hooker and Styled by Next

I am sitting here in my study with a glass of champagne, wearing a George From Asda navy blue t-shirt, Firetrap jeans, Hugo Boss lycra undies and Hugo Boss socks. It is possible to look chic and tasteful when co-ordinating a supermarket t-shirt with a £100 pair of designer denims. I am sipping champagne and waiting for my taxi to collect me at 8.10pm. I am meeting a client in town tonight for dinner date. Yep, I am going to have potato skins, followed by 4 cheese pizza with home made fries on the side, with a nice crisp bottle of chenin blanc. He’s in town for 1 night only and is taking me to my favourite pizza establishment that we visit almost every time he’s here. I have my small manbag packed with some lube, plenty of condoms, a small toy, baby wipes and a nappy sack to scoop all of the wrappers up with later on.

I am wearing Fahrenheit. A gift from this particular client at Christmas. It’s a very 90′s scent but I love it and he obviously does too and so I always ensure I wear it when we meet. I know the drill for tonight before it even kicks off. We will meet for a drink, I will probably have an Erdinger beer, he will have one of those funny named speciality ales. He will tell me about how his month has been since he was last in Newcastle. I may get to see a few pictures of his holiday on his phone, we will have the pizza and retire back to his hotel at about 11pm. 2 hours of very horny sex will commence, he will order wine from the room service bar half way through, when he will check in at home and have Sky News playing on the TV to make it sound like he’s catching the headlines before retiring for the night. He will give me a good seeing to for the last 30 minutes and insist I spunk all over his ape of a hairy chest before telling me what a slut I am and ask me to pick up my fee on the way out of the door, which will be in an hotel embossed envelope in crisp brand new notes, straight from the cash machine, earlier in the day.

I will leave the hotel at around 1am, I will get a text at 1.20 making sure my cab dropped me home ok and he will tell me the date of our next liaison. I will be told how amazing it was again and how good he feels before his meeting tomorrow.

I love this client, I love knowing the drill, I love being taken out for dinner and then bounced around the hotel room for a couple of hours and he loves the fact that I am just a normal bloke who doesn’t appear gay, doesn’t scream or mince, can have an intelligent conversation and is very discreet and quiet when his phone rings.

So I think I will top up my glass of champagne and look forward to my lovely evening out.